I Am Not

I am not bitter…

I am awake

Seeing things as they are.

Genuine or performative

I am not negative…

For having Truth slip my lips. 

I am not all the energies I feel

Around me…

I am aware. 

I see what you do not. 

-A

The Act

The only care was the image..

The target audience has changed.

I see the act..

Forever plying the victim and the martyr. 

Its still the same..

Ignoring all the blessings…

All the missed opportunities…

Living in blaming a past built on a lie. 

All our future in one sweep, stolen. 

You abandoned me all those years before…

Why did I suddenly expect more?

The love in my heart blinded me of the reality of you. 

One last time I let you pull at my heart…

I let the ideas I had of you…

All crumble apart.

I let my vision for you, die. 

So there in my heart I had to feel the ache of death…

Abandoned by you when I needed you the most. 

My blind love somehow survived the decades of time…

A necessary death, delayed…

When I was always dead to you. 

-A

I am not bitter

I am not bitter
I am awake
Seeing things as they are.
Genuine or performative
I am not negative
For having Truth slip my lips.
I am not all the energies I feel
Around me.
I am aware.

I see what you do not.

-A

Stepped out of the Charade

I stepped out of your charade..
Care and concern,merely..
Performative .

The only thing you cared for was the image.
The audience has changed..
But the act remains the same. 
Forever  playing the victim..
Forever crying the martyr.

Still blind to the blessings..
Still deaf to the missed opportunities..
You live buried in blame..
A past built on lies.
And in one sweep..
You stole our future.

You abandoned me all those years ago.
Why did I suddenly expect more?

The love in my heart..
Blinded  me to the truth of you.
One last time..
I let you pull at my heart.
I let my vision of you
Crumble.
I let the hope I carried die. 

So there, in my chest…
I felt the ache of death.

You abandoned me..
When I needed you most.

My blind love survived
decades of silence..
A necessary death delayed..
When I was always..
Already dead to you.

-A