Angry man

That feeling when someone crushes your heart..
You're either doing too much, or not enough...
Or what you're doing isn't done in a particular way..
Ect....ect....

Basically no matter what you say or do, its not 'good enough'

You know your self worth, and it hurts when someone you really love and
who should be your best friend... No longer is.
The pain of this reality.

The pain of feeling put down regardless of your intentions and love from your heart..
The pain of feeling like you are judged as being someone you absolutely are not.


The things you used to take joy in doing, become an expectation, a chore...
An practice that used to come from a place of love, now comes from a robot.
You sucked the joy out of me and you've become a selfish, self righteous, angry man.

I used to see joy in your eyes, more laughter on your face... A positivity that was so
contagious to anyone near.

It hurts to see you always so angry.
It hurts even more that I'm not the one to make you happy.


A.R.

Paper

When I write I learn about myself and the world I'm living in..
Writing puts clarity to the thoughts that flood my mind..
But this day I am avoiding the pouring of my soul into words...
Because I know the truth will confront me.
I know and feel what is in my aching heart, but for a moment more,
I will not recognize them by releasing them onto paper.


A.R.

11:22pm

Your truth

Never let someone tell you " you're not good enough". Maybe you cant stop a person from saying these words, But you do not have to accept it as your personal truth. Allahu Alim.

You are not defined by anothers opinion of yourself. You are not made whole by contact of another's skin. You are more then everything they say you are not.

Remember what you do and who you are. Your heart, your intention and inner gifts are what make you special. Don't lose sight of what you contribute to life. Surround yourself with nurturers of souls..not those who crush them.

Stay kind and compassionate...
Even if it means walking away from the one you wish to understand the most.
Don't cave into anger and pain.
Do not feed it. This is shaytan's joy.

Love is to be protected.
Sometimes the act of guarding your heart or what is left of it, hurts..

A.S.

More

You're the flame of my soul.

You're all I ever wanted.

Yet tears may fall, hands reaching to the stars..

You're the only one that can take me to that place.

The place where my blood boils, where my heart sinks..

The same place you take my mind for a spin, soul of souls transcending to new elevations..
The place of pure ecstasy.

Like a moth to the flame..

I couldn't leave where I came.

Even if the vision of want were to blurr..

I'll always need you.

Fire on fire or deepest of blues,

You bring me so much pleasure, sometimes pain.

I can't have enough of you.

You.

You..

Only you...

Beyond this flesh, you'll drive me insane.

Here I am, and I've come back for more.

A.S.

Either way

Either she does not do enough.. Or she does way too much. What a position you unknowingly put her in. When there is no up, or down,past or future. Wrong for caring, wrong for trying..Wrong for what is within her control and burdened for what she can not. Her current state of thought and being is all shes got...Deep in her heart she chooses her Creator's favor. Allahu alim.

A.S.

Still waters run deep

Anger..pain...fear....

Some people choose to let it consume them. They let it take over any rational thought, and allow these to smother their own heart. They let their blood boil, and theire mind goes along with it. Words spew from their mouths and hit your skin like lava to a petal. No sense, no hearing, no understanding, even the softest of words, to them can be seen as an attack. There will never be any understanding and you will not be understood. Pure ugliness in speech and behavior is far removed from the practices of the great Examples sent to us.

Some people choose to remain in thought. They let their breath steady themselves and regain control by choosing what thoughts to accept, and what words to express. Sometimes, they must choose to remain silent, where their words can not be altered, for the truth that resides within' can not be changed... Knowing the truth in peaceful silence is better than speaking the truth confronted by rage. Its like being a human mirror, and not all will like what they see, and will hate you for it.

Sometimes these people walk away, without a word to say...and it is why I will always remember that Still waters run deep...and the choice is always yours.

A.S.