Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Deepest Chamber


Had she not been there all along?
Nursed you back to health..
Waited for your return from the desert..
She promised you it would all get better.
Love tied you together.
High on a hope.
Did you forget?...
She crossed the ocean..
Handed you a rope.
Ridiculous smiles and bubbles of laughter.
Like a string of lights at the end of every tunnel..
You were found in her eyes.

The smoke has gotten thick.
There's no clarity.
Only a truth in her heart.
Where shes gone to the deepest chamber..
It is there she'll remain.

A.R.

Invisible

In these walls we call home..
Your love is conditional.
My deeper self, invisible.
Buried inside are these chapters of me..
Chapters of me you'll never see.

A.R.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Yesterday.Today.Tomorrow.

He doesn't have a clue how much he makes you cry.
He has seen instances of tears, he takes it as show..
But little does he know...
The ache you carry, and the tears you try to hold.

He says you can't cling to yesterday..
But yesterday repeats itself..
Its today, and there will always be a tomorrow.
The pattern is clear.

You aren't simply holding a grudge of the past.
He is reopening the scabs on your heart, and it hasn't ever fully healed.
And here you are trying. But it isn't enough.

He doesn't realize that you can not simply unsay or undue the pain that one causes.
Words mean nothing, if your actions repeat themselves.
Silence doesn't erase words that were said.

He doesn't realize that he'll never be happy with her, because his idea of her....
His idea of her is an illusion and this young woman will never be THAT girl.
He will never be happy if he looks to everything she is not, rather..
Than to recognize everything that she Is.
He judges their entire relationship on one bad day...
He forgets everything she has ever done, but he remembers himself and where he is standing..
Had she not helped you along the way?

He will never experience a well rounded love, as long as its based on the conditions of his comfort and his interests alone.

Does he care to go to the deeper places of her heart and her mind? Does he value her outlook on life?
Does he remember she is something more then flesh and bones? She is more than a contract..


One day her heart will feel nothing.

Angry man

That feeling when someone crushes your heart..
You're either doing too much, or not enough...
Or what you're doing isn't done in a particular way..
Ect....ect....

Basically no matter what you say or do, its not 'good enough'

You know your self worth, and it hurts when someone you really love and
who should be your best friend... No longer is.
The pain of this reality.

The pain of feeling put down regardless of your intentions and love from your heart..
The pain of feeling like you are judged as being someone you absolutely are not.


The things you used to take joy in doing, become an expectation, a chore...
An practice that used to come from a place of love, now comes from a robot.
You sucked the joy out of me and you've become a selfish, self righteous, angry man.

I used to see joy in your eyes, more laughter on your face... A positivity that was so
contagious to anyone near.

It hurts to see you always so angry.
It hurts even more that I'm not the one to make you happy.


A.R.

Paper

When I write I learn about myself and the world I'm living in..
Writing puts clarity to the thoughts that flood my mind..
But this day I am avoiding the pouring of my soul into words...
Because I know the truth will confront me.
I know and feel what is in my aching heart, but for a moment more,
I will not recognize them by releasing them onto paper.


A.R.

Monday, May 18, 2015

11:22pm

Your truth

Never let someone tell you " you're not good enough". Maybe you cant stop a person from saying these words, But you do not have to accept it as your personal truth. Allahu Alim.

You are not defined by anothers opinion of yourself. You are not made whole by contact of another's skin. You are more then everything they say you are not.

Remember what you do and who you are. Your heart, your intention and inner gifts are what make you special. Don't lose sight of what you contribute to life. Surround yourself with nurturers of souls..not those who crush them.

Stay kind and compassionate...
Even if it means walking away from the one you wish to understand the most.
Don't cave into anger and pain.
Do not feed it. This is shaytan's joy.

Love is to be protected.
Sometimes the act of guarding your heart or what is left of it, hurts..

A.S.

Monday, May 11, 2015

More

You're the flame of my soul.

You're all I ever wanted.

Yet tears may fall, hands reaching to the stars..

You're the only one that can take me to that place.

The place where my blood boils, where my heart sinks..

The same place you take my mind for a spin, soul of souls transcending to new elevations..
The place of pure ecstasy.

Like a moth to the flame..

I couldn't leave where I came.

Even if the vision of want were to blurr..

I'll always need you.

Fire on fire or deepest of blues,

You bring me so much pleasure, sometimes pain.

I can't have enough of you.

You.

You..

Only you...

Beyond this flesh, you'll drive me insane.

Here I am, and I've come back for more.

A.S.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Either way

Either she does not do enough.. Or she does way too much. What a position you unknowingly put her in. When there is no up, or down,past or future. Wrong for caring, wrong for trying..Wrong for what is within her control and burdened for what she can not. Her current state of thought and being is all shes got...Deep in her heart she chooses her Creator's favor. Allahu alim.


A.S.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Still waters run deep

Anger..pain...fear....
Some people choose to let it consume them. They let it take over any rational thought, and allow these to smother their own heart. They let their blood boil, and theire mind goes along with it. Words spew from their mouths and hit your skin like lava to a petal. No sense, no hearing, no understanding, even the softest of words, to them can be seen as an attack. There will never be any understanding and you will not be understood. Pure ugliness in speech and behavior is far removed from the practices of the great Examples sent to us.

Some people choose to remain in thought. They let their breath steady themselves and regain control by choosing what thoughts to accept, and what words to express. Sometimes, they must choose to remain silent, where their words can not be altered, for the truth that resides within' can not be changed... Knowing the truth in peaceful silence is better than speaking the truth confronted by rage. Its like being a human mirror, and not all will like what they see, and will hate you for it.
Sometimes these people walk away, without a word to say...and it is why I will always remember that Still waters run deep...and the choice is always yours.

A.S.