Thursday, October 31, 2013

He's watching

With charm,charisma,sympathy,guilt,ego, ect..
Some turn these into tools of manipulation..
They maybe able to fool the whole world...
But there is no fooling The One,...

Lies and tales they may spin..
Feeling completely justified in their wrong doings.
Spinning their own web, one day they will succumb...
To an end of their own doing.

Haven't they any shame?
HE is watching....
As God is my witness, I carry the truth in my soul.

A.S.

Monday, October 28, 2013

beyond this pain and hurt.
beyond any words..
nothing stirs me inside anymore.
completely numb.
An ache at my center but losing feeling in my nerves,
I can't sense my blood flowing through my veins any longer.
Broken spirit, hovering over this body

Learning what it feels like to be dead yet alive.

and my whole world is collapsing around me.


learning the real meaning of being alone.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Potions

You've brought me a joy and a love immeasurable..
Nothing can severe me from this very moment I am lingering in..

You have come and gone..
But traces of you, your signature, are left on my soul..

Oh what a mix this is, your chemistry..

I can't drink your magic potion, but..
I'm high from its essence..
A sweetness like honeydew..
A balmy and seductive bakhoor..

You cloak me..

High in this feeling I will not define it, for it would be in vain...

Swimming in the most pleasing shade of blue...
I'm plunging deeper and deeper inside of you.

A.S.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Agony

If you truly knew my mind..

All the secrets I contain in a
beautiful storm…

Lost and overcome you would become…
Fast you would take flight from these four walls..

Knowing myself, I retreat inwardly…

As you go about your way,
I watch you in silence, with a growing agony in my soul.

Bittersweet this is.


A.S.

Phantom Lover

I miss my phantom lover..
I miss what was never mine..

That brief hug where I felt a shiver..
Longer and tighter it could have been..
In dreams.

Your playful pat on my head...
Should have been fingers through my hair..
In dreams.

Near but missed opportunities..
My flesh n' soul was on high alert.
He is "near"

In complete awe, witnessing You renders me weak.
Becoming deaf, dumb and blind I melt..

Behind this curtain is the mystery of a love..
A secret pupil I've become..

You may see a glimpse through these eyes..They can't lie.

Spoken yet unspoken..

I wish for you to witness me.
Only in dreams with my phantom love.

A.S.

Mountain Tops

My soul wants to scream from mountain tops..

In this moment you are so close, yet so far away.
A moment of many...

I long to say to you with childlike abandon, I love you...
I love you...
Yet these are only words, they too I must keep.

Within' my body and soul lies the real meaning.
Only in dreams am I at liberty..

Never will my heart tire of holding this truth.
In time this flesh will return to clay..
The secret I cling to will take my soul to higher elevations..

Beyond those mountain tops.



A.S.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Just sayin'

We shouldn't brag or boast of having knowledge, or what seems apparent of... as we are viewing from a perspective,which is limited in of and itself. Stop preaching, start practicing. An isolated experience does not equate to wisdom of a lifetime. The more we learn, the less we try to hold ourselves above others, the more humble we'd become.

just saying..


A.S.

Don't own it

Don't take people's ego and arrogance personally... Often times its insecurity in one form or another and what they assume or project of others is often what they know to be true of themselves.

A.S.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Through those doors

So consumned by a feeling..
She couldn't contain herself..
The door was opened, and she entered.

But in a moment of many...
She senses her foolishness..
Naked and vulnerable.

Feeling overwhelmed, overcome and helpless to her dreaming and wanting..
She feels like a fool..

Struggling to regain composure..
She retreats within' herself once more.

A.S.

8:42pm

Her heart held in her hands...

Her soul on a cloud...


A.S.

I could die

Today is the best day of my life..
Simply because you’re in it..
Simply for my soul having experienced yours.

As my flesh bears witness..

I could die content.


A.S.

Communicate

Communication in a relationship is crucial and underrated .. Our ideas of what defines that communication varies from one person to the next.. It is not that being in a relationship gives you the liberty to unleash your emotions without examined behavior. But its important to have that foundation set together, and early.
                                
Communication means being open to hear things you may not like or want to hear about yourself.  It's the ability to do an honest self analysis and to look at what/how we contribute or take from a relationship. Communication means listening and validating someone else's feelings, regardless. Feelings should be validated, and if necessary, adjusted to show your true intentions through loving expression. Communication is the ability to disagree - - yet to do so with love because if there is something to be learned, it's achieved together.

It should be done with Diplomacy because you want that person to be next to you, to be by your side -- You're a team after all, not in a match.

Its all about lifting each other up, and this means ridding ourselves of our egos.



A.S.

Longing

I long for you to be here with me..
I would lose myself in you.
No thought of the troubles..
Just melt in a love..
Complete in forgiveness, of giving and receiving..
Nothing but the feeling of bliss.
Ecstasy of a love, a feeling that has no description.
Power to overcome all other emotions of Self..
The ego,anger,hate,fear, and insecurities Surrender..
Pure ecstasy takes over.

A.S.

As you like

If making you happy were to leave you be..
I would retreat from you..
As you like...
Your happiness is my own..
For as much as this would make my flesh ache...

I will always see your radiance..
There is no dimming your light.

No matter where I am, you will always be..
Soul of my soul...
My treasure.


A.S.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Kindle

Dark and deafening is the night
My body is still and listening..
Staring into darkness, yet seeing you so vividly..
Loud is the plea of my heartbeat..

Closing my eyes I try to push you away, into the back of my mind...

There is no quieting this obsession..
My soul is overcome

Am I hopelessly mad?...

How is it I'm to be consumed for a love of you,
And all I will ever have is a glimpse inside?..

Yet this glimpse is more than I can ask for...
I keep you on this pedestal.
Similar yet so different we are..
I've witnessed a tenderness in you..
Even in the darkest of nights,
I'm drawn to your light.
You're kindle to my fire..

A.S.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Essence

These feelings I own will never be written..
My deepest and most intricate of love..
The ink will never meet paper..
This obsession I'll forever yearn to reveal..
A slow burning desire at my core..
But forever they'll remain a mystery..
My soul is chained to you.
Near or far...
Known or unbeknownst to you..
This life or the next..

You'll always live within' me..I'll always live for you..
Your soul's essence I'll cling to.


A.S.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Love isn't pain

Love doesn't know hate nor anger.
Love is soul soothing, stirring, and enlightening.
No people, love doesn't have to hurt...
Love is so much simpler than the false definitions we fool ourselves into believing..

Real, genuine, unadulterated love does not crush your soul, but elevates it into higher thought and greater being.

A.S.

New existence

I'll wait for you.
Tonight..
Tomorrow..
Days..
Years.
Human or light years...

My soul holds you nearer to me than these words can ever reach..
Deeper than this flesh could ever keep....

In a grand moment, this body will meet the Eternal..

My soul will greet yours...
The light I hold will not be contained...
As free as love and thought is itself..
Everywhere and in everything..

We will simply BE.

A.S.

mystery

And there will always be that part of me..
That part of me that will remain behind curtains..
Refuge this inner truth has sought.
To the deepest place of my soul, it will always linger..

This world, this life may have its varying shades of shadow..
But, there is no dimming this light..
Buried in my soul it may be..
My lifeline... my never ending current.

Secret poetry in motion, my body has become..


A.S.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Care free swirl

Friday, October 18, 2013

Calling you

My heart is screaming from the highest elevations and from the deepest place of my soul..

Think of me!
Share..
confide..
Create idle bliss..
Call out for me, I am waiting!
Every moment is drawing me in,
Yet those moments couldn’t come soon enough.
My thoughts held prisoner..
Only you set them free..
You make me feel alive..

My soul is calling..


A.S.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Over the rainbow

The silence says it all..or does it?
This white noise can leave one disillusioned..
Silence.
Understanding it, yet resenting.
Getting nowhere with the space between..
This feeling I hold wont break down.

Loving forever can't be wrong..
This feeling tears through bricks and fog..
Silenced,never
As it resonates within' you..

I'll see you on the other side of the rainbow..


A.S.

Changed yet not...

Life is always going in its cycles...
We are constantly learning about the world we live in..
At least we're supposed to be with every experience that comes our way...

I'm not the same person I was 5-10 years ago, yet I feel a part of has always remained unchanged...

That part is the inner innocence and purity that we are all born with..

No I'm not going to be that girl of some odd years ago,
But I have not and will never cease to evolve..

For all the changes that life brings my way..
Let it be for the better.


A.S.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Everlasting

I long for everlasting,eternal life..
Yet I don't long for my death.
I don't want to simply give up and let my soul drift away..

On this path I'm struggling, I know myself.
Lord knows how much I try,
To have loved and lost..
To be on this flux of spiritual elevation..
I want this love I hold inside to live forever..

I may not see the fruit of my struggle in this life..
But my feet are deeply rooted..
And it is my hope that I'll reap the rewards in the everlasting life..
May my living and dying be in a state of belief..

I may not have what I do cherish and love given to me in the flesh..
But I've had a taste,a glimpse of something beautiful.
I'll forever struggle to preserve it.

If I were to die tomorrow,
I would be content in my soul..
Hanging onto the hope that..
One sweet day there will be our reward.

I'm sacrificing my flesh, and this worldly life..
A genuine love lives within' this soul..
And its strong enough to pull me through.

Allahu alim.

A.S.

One sweet day

If i am blind..

How is it I can tell you what I see in front of me?
I can only tell you what it is I feel..
My personal truth, you can't deny.

If the only thing I could do right in the world was to love you...
Would that be enough?

What I would give to have just one sweet day with you.
Carefree, not a thought of the world outside..
Living in a world of our own.

But my soul's ache can match the longing of my flesh..
I wouldn't trade eternal love and life for this one day..
For as much as my flesh cries for you..

My soul begs for our love to live forever in Jannah...



A.S.


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Walkin' off cliffs

Feeling the tremble to my very bones.
Not the sweet kind..

Numb, raw and feeling exposed are my nerves,
No matter how much I hold myself, or rest my face in my hands..

Emotionally and physically I feel myself struggling to pick back up,
Stronger is my sense of gravity..
Walking off cliffs.

Taking a deep breath and holding on to myself,
The counter, the wall, this pillow...

My heart..


A.S.

Woods 2

She finds herself at the end of her road,
Off in the distance she sees the familiar woods,
There she once fell onto her knees,having
waited for you.

She finds herself standing at a crossroads within' and outward.
Back to those woods she will disappear, as you once had..

There she'll hear the sound of her own heart beat,
This time without anyone to hear its echo..

She wanted to be found, and close she came..
But a mystery she will forever remain.
For she doesn't belong in this world..
To the woods she'll retreat.

A flower(f) to you..

A.S.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

The lion's angel

Side by side..
The lion stood near his angel..
She knows her destination, but not the way..
Steady and grounded, he shows her..
In trust and admiration, she follows his footsteps..
A gentle love between them..
Within' him she reflects and witnesses a never ending light..
So long as she inspires, He will guide and protect..
Forever companions..

A.S.


simply existing

If only I could be free from this dunya & myself..

free from wants
free from needs
free from the dreaming
free from feeling.
to be a robot to get me through this life..

I rather die with a taste of the truth than to be completely void of all these.. Bittersweet is this existence.

a.s.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Buried

And i will go on pretending..
That this is just a moment to pass...
Yet in ten years time I will look back and still feel the same..
In my heart of hearts, I know this to be true..
Since day one, I still feel as I do.

I'll pretend I didn't expose my inner heart..
Only to have to hide myself again.


You will always live inside...
And to the grave I'll take this secret truth buried within'.


A.S.

A wish.

I just want you to experience real love.
To be held in someone's arms and feel all is well in the world and in the universe..
To feel like a baby protected with loving,tender care...
To go from a childlike state of comfort to a untamed lion surging with desire.
To feel that nothing else in the world exists when you're together...
You're living in a new world,a new existence..
A love you don't have to hold back, you don't have to reserve or contain yourself..
A love you can simply BE with wild ambition, and care free..
A love that cocoons you, exposes your light and contains your darkness..
Merging light with light, the scales will weigh ....


A.S.

Lotus

Longing for that moment..
One sweet moment,you're sitting near
As you talk in your way, I'll be silently admiring.

You'll look to me..
Without a word my eyes will convey my happiness,and my longing..
You'll see a change in me..
Longing for this moment I hold your gaze.
Without a word, all would be felt..
Telepathy at its best...

I'll extend my hand, opening lotus..
You'll rest your hand in mine..
Holding onto you in silence..
A soft kiss to this hand I'll never let go.

Longing for just this one moment ..

A.S.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Throw away the key

You don't realize how much you remedy my heart..
Right when I think I'm to carry the extra load this path I'm on,
You lifted some of the pain, eased my burdens.
So deep in this love, I can't make sense of myself..

Keep me in your secret place, throw away the key.



A.S.

Return

Dearest friend,

You last left to a world unknown to me..
To the woods you had retreated.
As I watched you disappear, I was already waiting...

Alone I felt..
Alone with my heart's echo.

How I was wrong, you heard my cries..
Steadfast, you were there when I was on my knees..
You've given me your hand, this time I wont let go.

A flower to you my friend,my love, my dearest heart.



A.S.

He asked...

He asked for me...

And that's all I ever wanted..

A.S.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Angel

Angel you say..
Perhaps trapped in this body...
I'm fighting against this flesh.
With every moment I'm learning..
I'm a red blooded woman..


A.S.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Something from nothing

People come and go..
Whether they be family,friend or fo.
Used to not relying on others for happiness.
But here you've got me standing tall..
It takes only a special kind of soul to pull you through..
Giving me strength..something from nothing.
Only you.

A.S.

Loving you

My soul of my soul..
Loving you runs deep..
You’re my never ending current..
These waters run deep.
Oh soul…
I don’t have the will to fight..
As long as you flow within’ me..
My vessel will continue.

A.S.


Taking my breath

You have me captured and paralyzed..
I feel my senses stirring with every single breath..
Slow and steady..
I try to regain control..
Mind over body..
Close my eyes..
Traveling from one loving thought to the next..
Quiet obsession, I can't stop imagining a love unleashed..
I can't escape these dreams..I don't know if I want to..

Every time I close my eyes, you're taking my breath away.

A.S.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Exposed

This rush I feel flowing through my veins..
Leaves me feeling completely undone..
Have I gone mad?
I can’t let go…
I’m completely vulnerable and exposed as you witness Me.


A.S.

Find me


My heart feels heavy and sometimes these thoughts lead me to an isolation of my own doing.
As the truths I hold inside can never see the light of day..
Multifaceted is my reality...
Multifaceted are the quality of my thoughts..
I've exposed to you only an essence of me..
You've given me some form of release..
Deeper yet,I still hide myself.
Those dimmed halls I will not lead you through..
Despite my yearning for you to come and find me there...

Only in dreams.

A.S.

On fire


You're a secret treasure I cling to...
Nestled deep inside..
Like slow burning embers,..
My body is on fire.

If I am losing my mind..
I don't want a cure.

A.S.

Chambers of my heart

Strange and wonderful this feeling..

My heart with its secret chambers..

Its capacity vast and ever expanding..

Learning that there are varied forms of love...

And this life with its many layers, reflects in my soul..

A chamber for every layer..

Each with its own capacity..


I'm in constant learning of its secrets...


A.S.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Glowing heart.

There was no sunshine, only rain

Standing silently still..

Your heart weighed heavy..

Your dark and deep eyes contained it all.

In awe witnessing this beautiful mystery..

There was no sunshine, but my heart never glowed so intensely.


A.S.

I'm a vessel

My capacity to love supersedes my limitations of self..
Love transcends through everything..

It passes through the visible,tangible..
touch,movement,words,breath

It passes through space and time invisible yet felt..
thought,emotion and spiritual

My body is a mere vessel..
It receives and gives to a degree.
But the essence that moves it, surpasses the bounds of this body..
In truth love exists without limitations of the flesh..

This love can be there, yet here.

I am merely a vessel following the never ending current of her heart.


A.S.

Tell me..

Please..
Tell me that I'm not crazy..
Tell me these dreams are lucid,.
Tell me its really as close as it feels.

Is it possible that you anticipate me...
Just as I do your every move?..

In my way I fill space and time..
In my mind you're always there..
Living in different worlds..
Yet you're so apart of mine.

Show me..tell me..
Show me as much as I dare to dream..

Do I fill your mind.. like you do mine?
Do our spirits meet in the middle?
Or is mine stalking and roaming?

I'm finding myself in your center,
Witnessing my secret self, within you...
Still you are a mystery to me.
My glimpse inside only feeds my curiosity
My heart is soaring...
Starved to know more,..
Your thoughts and emotions with complete abandon.

A.S.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Life with all its layers.... We attempt tapping into our center selves, glimpsing into an ambiguous reality...
 
A.S.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Cruel eyes

I have the best sister in the world.. She need not prove herself to cruel eyes.. She simply IS and she reminds me how to just BE..

To my dear sister, I am your mirror..
The world can be blind, but here I am and I see YOU...
You're a gift to this dunya and beyond...
You're a gift to me.
 Allahu Alim.

Look deeper

And through pain, can shine the truest beauty...
Look in the eyes, and if you are open..
You will see it all..

A.S.

The Great Love

And it is in this wait,this strain..
That I realize He is only making our love stronger
I always loved deeply, intensely and passionately..
Yet it is during these times of separation, or the mere notion of it..
That really exposes something greater..
A grand love revealing upon itself..
I had thought I had known the full intensity of love in all its intricacies..
I've only begun to realize there is no such measure.
It is constantly changing, evolving, growing and even though felt, it is still an awe inspiring mystery to me...
To be consumed in a love that has no true definition..
Words can't live up to what can only be felt..
Not even the sweetest lips could convey an essence of its Majesty.....

A.S.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

without a word

Don't be mistaken..
Her silence doesn't mean shes weak..
It doesn't mean she agrees or disagrees.
In her silence she's taking in the scene..
In her thoughtful manner, shes analyzing.
No desire to prove anything, no need to fit in...
Just listening.

Content with not answering to anyone but Him..
Allahu alim.

His approval, His opinion are all that matter after all..
Allahu alim.

Don't be mistaken...
She isn't a gullible, malleable fool..
Allahu alim.

A.S.

Missin' that beat...

Missin' that special kind of lullaby..
The kind only his heart beat makes..
That pulse soft and steady next to my ear..
He's under my skin..
The only one that makes me whole..
The only one I want...
The only one I need..

A.S.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

This cold room...

Home is where you feel safest..
Warm, soft and cozy...

But here in this cold empty room,
My spirit is nestled within' you there..
I turn to thoughts and memories of you..

Within' your heart is the kindle to my very soul..
It is within' you a part of me has taken refuge.

A.S.